Many things have happened, so fast that I have left behind some part of them. Moreover, last night when I want to delete my inbox messages, as I mark those I want to delete, the content of messages gave me some pictures of the past. A lot of things have actually happened without my mindfulness. From the advices, stories, supports, simply reply and response to some messages that I can hardly delete are all there. They are 400 plus messages!
Besides that, when I skimmed through some messages I realized that my best friend messages are there with all the courages she have given to me when I told her about my difficulty to decide on ‘something’. I read through it and said to myself that she is absolutely true. If only I didn’t hear to her advices that time, I might have in the most difficult situation at the moment. I might abandon my mind and life for ‘something’ that doesn’t deserve to get my sacrifices. Today, that ‘something’ is no more exist without a single sign of departure. Relief in one hand, but sad at the other hand.
What my friend has once told me is proven true that that ‘something’ was just temporary. I have forgotten what my friend said which make me feel lost about that ‘something’. But fortunately, I have remembered the forgotten advice from my best friend. I will not try to protect that ‘something’ when it doesn’t seems to put any effort to do that to itself.
Yes, it doesn’t matter anymore from this moment onwards because I will have forgotten the ‘bad’ and ‘good’ of that ‘something’ as time goes by without any attempt to remember it. But, I will always remember I have had experience that unforgotable ‘something’.
What is really that ‘something’ is? Well, I can say it maybe like process or experience that may be my life time lesson. It maybe called すき、愛 or less than that. I don’t know.